The art of giving!

Ever since I was a kid, I used to wonder how everyone else’s life was. I used to get intrigued by the occurrences around me and would wonder how it would feel if I had full access to their lives and its events. I was bored with the way my life was going sometimes. I would sit and wonder a lot of things and would hope to experience things much more deeply. But it wasn’t until I was a little older, I realised it was impossible to know the ins and outs of someone else’s life other than your own. The interest in knowing someone else’s life is something that has been an interest for everyone around us. It acts as a great escape from our own problems in life through comparison and judgements. But that only makes us avoid the problems in our lives and delays the inevitable. So, I decided to change things a bit. I began to do things that I enjoyed, reading books that piqued my interest, watching cartoons that brought joy to me and loving everyone with all of my heart. It was while working on myself that I found my strength, in giving.

The act of giving always made me happy. I would find myself helping others, supporting them when in need, loving everyone unconditionally (for as long as I could) until one day when I grew up. As humans, we are all conditioned to expect things in return when we give. Even our economy works the same way. Although I did love everyone around me with all my heart, there was a part of me that expected love in return as well.

My first experience of love came in the form of my cousin who I was really close to as a kid. She was the one I got close to as a friend for the first time. But then one day she got married and moved to the US.  I was happy for her but I hadn’t known then that starting a new phase in her life meant her unannounced departure from mine. I really felt bad about that. I felt bad because somewhere somehow I had begun to expect love and affection in return and since I still loved her even after her marriage, I hoped to be loved back in the only way I knew how to. But alas! That was not in store for me!

The next one came in the form of another one of my cousin sisters who herself got married and moved on in her life. For a very long time in my life, I blamed both my cousins for what they did to me! Because according to me, it was their fault that I got angry at them! I would find reasons to not talk to them when they called or act uncaring. I wasn’t able to accept these situations and face the reality that some people are meant to be passengers in your journey through life. It is hard to understand these things while you are struggling with the loss of someone close or even their departure from life. But I found my answer in the most unexpected places of all, in a book! I read and re-read the book to take in as many life lessons as I could and learnt a lot from those experiences.

Now that I have accepted those realities and face these challenges head-on, I wish to share this message with you all as well. Even today, losing a friend, being away from family, the fear of losing someone close, haunt me but the one thing that makes me happy is that I can still choose to love them irrespective of the length of their stay in my life. And my constant effort to share and give has only grown. It is just a realisation in life that the one thing you have control over is your reaction to such scenarios, whether you decide to stop loving because of such instances or you decide to make every moment count is completely in your hands. And the choices you make define the person you become.

I chose to be more giving and love as much as I can. I wish to be a part of people’s lives in the good and the bad, as their friend and support, through it all. And that defines me as a person! I have CHOSEN this path for myself, no one forced me into it. I have openly accepted the events that occur henceforth, whether good or bad, as situations that teach me something! It is all about perspective in life. You do not have to have access to someone else’s life to be a part of it. You just need to find different ways to let them open their arms to you.

Choose wisely for such decisions will define your designated path for a long part of your life!




2 thoughts on “The art of giving!

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  1. Hi again, Niharika,
    After our little discusiion, I decided to read your latest post, to learn yet a little more about you. You spoke about giving, and learning, and, again, accepting. I did not find one particular word in your post that I would have expected to find, and I am somewhat amazed, in a good way, that it is not there. I won’t make you guess at it, but before I say it I just want to give you some background. There is giving, and expecting something in return. That is how how children grow up in many of today’s societies. You explored that, and found it unsatisfying. You also tried giving to make others close to you, and they moved away anyway. Now you are giving of your own free will, presumably because you want to give, because it makes you feel good inside. In this last scenario you stop mentioning those to whom you are giving, and you do not say if they accept your gifts freely, or if they wonder if you are expecting anything in return. Nor do you mention if others are giving you gifts.
    Accepting is the flip side of the giving coin. As well as knowing how to freely give, one needs to know how to accept with grace. This is not always apparent to most people, but I bring it up because you seem to be a deep thinker, and I thought you might like to look at the opposite side of giving if you have not done so yet.
    And now the word I momentarily withheld from you, trust. I wonder how trust fits in with your thoughts, or if it fits in at all. I thought you might like to give me your thoughts on trust…
    If you feel so inclined. Thank you.


    1. My main reason behind writing this post is because people have forgotten about both. It is essential to be reminded of the joy in giving and helping people establish it to begin with. Yes I absolutely understand that with the art of giving comes the art of receiving.
      Thank you for reminding me of its existence again. I will eventually dedicate a post to the beauty of receiving along with giving but it must start somewhere and the best place to begin would be at giving because that’s how you become selfless.
      As far as trust is concerned, it is a slow and a tedious process. Trust is the crux of any relationship, irrespective of a new one you are establishing or renewing an old one. Trust is what helps you give and receive at the same time. To be honest, I took the trust part for granted and again I thank you for reminding me of my error.


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