I once had a friend who was very dear to me. He and I were really close until one day he stopped talking to me. Being a dear friend of mine, I kept asking myself what went wrong and even tried to ask him, but to no avail. I felt really bad about the whole incident and cursed him for hurting me the way he did. So, when I ended up sharing the incident with my counsellor, he asked me whether I knew the exact reason why he took that decision. I told him that I didn’t to which he replied, ‘Maybe he had his own reasons and he felt it was the ‘right thing to do’.
But how could I ever come to terms with me being hurt and him doing the ‘right’ thing? How is it ‘right’ if I feel miserable? Isn’t doing the ‘right’ thing supposed to make you feel better? But who is it ‘right’ according to? Me or him? Will that decision ever be ‘right’ according to me, in a situation that leaves me to pieces? What is the ‘right thing’ anyway? What if there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’?
Maybe it is all about different points of view. Maybe all we have are different points of view. Maybe our priorities differ and hence our choices differ as well. And maybe, just maybe we both are right after all, in our own ways, because of each of our priorities.
You see, we all are so busy thinking about what we would’ve done differently had we been in their position that we forget to take the term, ’empathy’ into consideration at all. We forget the fact that we all are different people with different thoughts, different emotional responses to situations and different priorities. So, what is it really?
All through our lives, we are taught what is right and what is wrong. Be it morally, spiritually, socially, constitutionally and in various other ways. We are always taught that we have to always be on the right side of things, people, situations, countries because being on the wrong side won’t do us much good. In certain aspects, there is a definite right and a wrong, like killing someone is wrong both constitutionally and morally. But sometimes, the lines are much more blurred like in the case of me and my friend. There is no definite answer in such situations. And sometimes, for someone on the outside, the situation could feel much more different. That is when priorities, perspectives and other related words come into play.
The situation in which it happened, the state of mind of everyone involved, the triggers, past experiences that have shaped our understanding, our outlook towards life, our needs, our priorities, all of them come into play and the line between right and wrong blurs out. But in all these situations, it is important to remember where your priorities lie and what you deem to consider important. You will be the only one at the end of the day who is responsible for your decisions and the only one you will be answerable to. Be truthful to yourself and your actions will not weigh you down.